How to win at Halloween apple bobbing

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We apple bob like girls - you got a problem with that?

Apple Bobbing

© Flickr/See-ming Lee

1. Buy the right apples

Not too firm, not too soft - they need to be just right. Too hard and you'll probably be paying for your friends dental work. Too soft and you'll just go right through them.

2. Bob for the best sized apple

If the apples are too big, no one will be able to get them. The smaller they are, the easier. Make sure you take aim for those little suckers for a chance at winning.

3. Show us your teeth

Your lips will just get in the way. Bare your teeth before you take the plunge and go at those apples like you do your mum's Sunday roast.

4. Do the correct lunge

As always - this is an angles game. If you come at the water sideways on, you're just going to push the apples away, dumbass. Instead - try and keep your head as vertical to the water as possible and face plant those apples.

5. Be prepared

Take your watch off, your necklace, coat, scarf and anything else that will get in the way. Move your phone out of the splash zone. This is not a drill.

6. Take the stanse

This is not a standing sport as it can damage your back and increases the risk of water going up your nose (true story). Place the bucket or tub on the ground and kneel in front of it. Contestants knees can not leave the ground else they are a big cheater.

7. Dive, dive, dive

Keep your hands on the side of the tub (that's a rule) and then go for it. Each person has 20 seconds to get as many apples as they can. Total apple bobbing domination.

8. Use physics to win

This guy. This guy loves bobbing for apples and him and his fetching polo neck are now going to demonstrate how you can use physics to win at apple bobbing (science rules, ok?)

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