Why men aren't more likely to cheat and other infidelity myths busted

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We asked the experts to tell us the real truth about cheating...

Cheating man/affair/relationships and dating

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Can you create a 'typical cheater' profile or is it more difficult than that?

Well, according to Allan and Barbara Pease, authors of Why Men Want Sex & Women Need Love, it's a myth that certain characteristics will automatically make someone predisposed to cheat.

Cheating fact or fiction?

Myth No.1: Men cheat more than women

New research shows that women in their 20s and 30s have about the same amount of affairs as men of the same age. Around 50% of these affairs are with people in the workplace.

Myth No.2: There's a 'typical cheater' profile

Given the right circumstances anyone can cheat on their partner.

For men an affair is usually opportunistic (the situation presents itself and they go for it), but for women it's usually planned. Allan and Barbara recommend thinking about the circumstances in which you might be susceptible to cheating and then make a point of avoiding them.

Myth No.3: Long term relationships lead to affairs

More people have affairs during the first two years of marriage than any other time, especially women who tend to feel the most nervousness and anxiety about their commitment levels.

If he was a persistent cheater before your marriage, you may feel more suspicious. Usually it takes between two and five years of living with someone to really know them (and trust them implicitly).

Myth No.4: Men are driven to infidelity because they're bored at home

In 2007, noted infidelity researcher Shirley Glass, author of NOT 'Just Friends' found that people who never intended to be unfaithful unwittingly formed deep, passionate connections before they realised they had crossed the line between friendship and love.

Playing away is influenced more by emotional disconnectedness than actual distress, so a cheater might not necessarily be unhappy at home.

Myth No.5: You can get it right the second time around

Those who decide to make a go of it with their affairees often decide to 'do it right this time', but statistics show only 25% of those who marry their lover actually stay married. Scientifically speaking, the rush of endorphins that an affair produces quickly fade when the relationship goes from secret to 'normal'.

Myth No.6: You can tell when your partner is straying

Although women are much better at spotting cheating signals (which is why 80% of relationships are ended by women) it's not easy to become suspicious if you trust and love your partner. The male brain doesn't connect speech and actions in the same way, which makes them less perceptive to cheating.

Why Men Want Sex & Women Need Love by Allan and Barbara Pease, £5.99, amazon.co.uk



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