White knight syndrome: Are you attracted to broken men like Katy Perry?

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Trying to save damaged boys is a roller coaster you may want to get off...

Katy Perry Smurfs 2 promo tour

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Constantly trying to fix emotionally broken boys? Katy Perry knows how you feel. The singer has revealed she keeps falling for 'broken birds' referring to her relationships with Russell Brand and John Mayer.

The Part of Me singer has been speaking out about her divorce to Russell Brand a year on, saying that he couldn't handle her being his 'equal.'

In the revealing interview with US Vogue, she explains the reasons behind her divorce, saying that the physical distance between them grew too big, with Perry away on tour and Brand unwilling to come along.

'He didn't like the atmosphere of me being the boss on tour. So that was really hurtful, and it was very controlling, which was upsetting,' she revealed.

Speaking about her on-and-off-again relationship with John Mayer, Perry explained, 'All I can say about that relationship is that he's got a beautiful mind. Beautiful mind, tortured soul…I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds,' she added.

If you find yourself constantly on the roller coaster of dating men with emotional issues, it may be time to stop the ride.

Psychologists have named it White Knight Syndrome. More commonly reference to men wanting to save damsels in distress, however women are equally guilty of it.

White knights are usually attracted to unstable and vulnerable people who have emotional issues and sometimes those with a history of abuse, trauma and addiction.

Knight on a horse

Knights have a need to swoop in & save the day

How do you spot if you're a white knight?

Speaking to The Morning Show, Psychologist John Aiken explained the signs are:

1. You're attracted to distressed partners
2. You love to rescue people
3. You're joined at the hip
4. You like to 'fix' and problem solve
5. You struggle to break up and walk away from the relationship

What's the harm?

As Superman can testify, it's bloody exhausting. Often white knights seek validation and self-worth through the gratitude they hope to get from fixing someone. It can be a sign of low self-esteem. This tends to mean that once the other person starts to stand on their own two feet, the white knight doesn't feel needed anymore.

And who wants to constantly be reminded of their flaws? It can be hard work for the 'broken' half of the relationship too as they have to rehash their problems and don't get room to grow on their own, making for a negative relationship.

How to stop it?

1. Share decisions together – remember you are equal in the relationship
2. Don't always remind them of their faults, it can become smothering
3. Try to understand why you always need to fix someone, is there a confidence issue of your own you are not dealing with?
4. Stop romanticising it. This isn't Pride & Prejudice. Good relationships don't have to be about the drama.
5. Enjoy time apart and let each other breathe.

Are you attracted to broken boys? Tell us about it…



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